You know you're Castle Trash if......

~ Your shroud of Turin is painted on velvet
~ Your daughter's chastity belt has rusted
~ You can't afford a cod piece................nobody notices
~ You have more sheep dogs than sheep
~ You sold your only horse to buy that jousting lance you just had to 
have...
~ The plague improved your complexion...........but only for a little 
while
~ The Pope sends you to the Crusades...........in Norway
~ Your armor is made from that foil that came with your chewing gum
~ Your wife is stronger than your plow horse...but the horse is prettier
~ The grail you brought home has "made in China" printed on the bottom
~ Your wife says you have the smallest turret in the kingdom
~ You won "most improved " at the tournament
~ They call your daughter made Marian
~ Your family crest is a chicken with a banner that says "peace before 
discomfort"
~ Your sheep seem strangely nervous around your oldest son