Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares
why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Fox Mulder: It was a government conspiracy.

Sigmund Frued: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Charles Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads.

Richard Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken
did not cross the road.

Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone
ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around
all over the place anyway?"

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.