Travel Agency Terminology
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TOUR GUIDE TERM     ...........     TRANSLATION

Old world charm .................... Room and a path
Tropical ........................... Rainy
Majestic setting ................... A long way from town, at end of dirt road
Options galore ..................... Nothing is included in the itinerary
Secluded hideaway .................. Directions to locate unclear
Some budget rooms .................. Sorry, already occupied
Explore on your own ................ At your own expense
Knowledgeable trip hosts ........... They've flown in an airplane before
No extra fees ...................... No extras
Nominal fee ........................ Outrageous charge
Standard ........................... Sub-standard
Deluxe ............................. Barely Standard
Superior accomodations.............. One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap
All the amenities .................. Two chocolates, two shower caps
Plush .............................. Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes
Gentle breezes ..................... In hurricane alley
Light and airy ..................... No air conditioning
Picturesque ........................ Theme park nearby
24-hour bar ........................ Ice cubes at additional cost (when available)