SINGLE MAN'S PRAYER

Please just send me one good woman.
Please just make her cute and petite.
One who knows how to put down her own damn toilet seat.

One good woman to manipulate my head.
Who makes me feel like I am wrong and wish that I were dead.
Who confuses me with her moods.
And tries to poison me with her foods.
Is super-pretty like Sharon Stone.
On second thought, I'd rather be alone.

Man, if I should die before I wake,
I could die without ever having to bake!
No bachelor party or reception (with booze).
No having to pay for a Jamaican cruise.
No stopping at every single shoe sale display.
This no-marriage thing is sounding better every day.
If I die before I meet Miss Right.
It'll be because I got beat up over her at Ladies' Night
But then again, with my luck today,
She'd want to be "just friends" anyway.

The single life is not that bad.
That's what I say when I'm feeling sad.
But I'm still strong, I will survive.
Besides, I have a bachelor party every Friday at five!
No more showering, remote control by my side.
It's fun to use the bathroom with the door open wide.

The single life is where I get my kicks
What's up dude?
LET'S GO PICK UP CHICKS!!!!