Q.      Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the 
morning ?
A.       They don't have balls to scratch.


Q.      How do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
A.      Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

Q: Moms have Mothers Day, Fathers have Fathers Day. What do 
Single guys have? 
A: Palm Sunday

"If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy."

"Men have two emotions: Hungry and horny... If you see me 
without a boner, make me a sandwich..."

Q: What did the zero say to the eight? 

A: Nice belt


What's the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's penis!


I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.


A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the 
first day of school:  
"If you promise not to believe everything your child says 
happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything 
he says happens at home.


How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum? 
Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.


What are the 2 most important holes on a women?
Her nostrils, so that she can breathe while giving a blowjob.