While she was gone, the hooker left a sign on the door: "Out 
to Lunch.  Go Fuck Yourself."

What do you call a 400 pound woman that likes men and women?
A bisexual built for two!

What's the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist? 
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here 
know what we mean by sins of omission?" 
 One of the girls replied "Aren't those the sins that we should
have committed, but didn't?" 


Q: What's the difference between a penis and a prick? 
A: A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying.....A prick is the 
guy who owns it

Q: Do you know why ghosts don't make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have hollow weenies!


Q.      What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for ?
A.       It's Braille for "suck here".


Why can't Ms. Piggy count to 70?
Because when she reaches 69, she gets a frog in her throat.


"One thing vampire children are taught is, never run
with a wooden stake."