"Seen my new secretary?" asked the businessman. "Yeah," his mate
replied,"she's gorgeous." "Well, she's a robot- the latest model from
Japan." "Crikey!What can she do?" 

"If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her
right tit, she writes a letter for you. And if you stick your dick in
her twat it feels great." 

"Sounds perfect."

"Almost- I got hurt once."

"How?" 

"Well," he grimaced,"let's just say I didn't know her ass was a pencil 
sharpener."