"A hundred bucks?!? What can I get for ten?" 

"Oooh, you're so BIG! Oooh, you're so POWERFUL! Oooh, your batteries just died!" 

"No, really, I always yawn like that when I climax." 

"Don't laugh -- if *all* penises were this small, birth control would be a thing of the past!" 

"Well, what you lack in size, you make up for in speed." 

"Dammit Mom! Knock first!" 

"Look, lover boy, $120 means $120 -- I don't give a shit if that works out to $240 a minute." 

"Shave it? You're lucky I washed it." 

"Why yes, as a matter of fact, I *WAS* the original body model for the Ken doll. How in the world did you guess?" 

"Mmmmm, yeah baby, take it off! C'mon, nice & slow ... That's goo--AAAARRGGGG!! Disconnected again! Friggin' AOL!!!"